i guess this goes here...

so as most of you know, my Cheo is biologically my ex's son. when he was born, my ex was in the hospital wit me and he signed the birth certificate, so my son has his last name. Now u guys also know that he has absolutely nothing to do with him. the only daddy/father Cheo knows is Marc. Now marc has been wanting to adopt Cheo as his own and give him his last name but in order for that, i gotta go to court for full custody first. I've been really wanting to do this for a while i just get so nervous and confused!!! not because i think he might win the case cuz no judge in the right mind would grant him custody but i just get so nervous wit anything havin 2 do wit the government, i hate it. is liek when i had 2 go for medicaid. i don't kno what documents to bring, i don't know how to start the process and i kno they'll appoint me a lawyer but until that point i don't kno exactly how to go about it. If any of u girls have gone thru something similar, or if u kno anything about the process or have legal knowledge, whatever it is i would truly appreciate ur help and advice!!!

ask Leticia. she knows what you should do

Well, I totally understand about your husband wanting to adopt Cheo. My husband adopted my two and carry his last name. First thing is FIRST: The biological father of Cheo would need to sign his rights away. I know this may be hard but it might be worth a shot. But the most importand thing is to get the biological father to sign. If he has been an absent father, and does not pay any childsupport then you can file a form of "Abandonment" Check your states laws to see how long a parent has to be absent in order to file abandonment. In California is 2yrs.
And the cost is (California)$600.00. The whole process his about 6 mos. IF the father is willing to give up (his rights) I can not stress that enough , you can lose $600. if this goes to trial.
I hope this has helped.

You don't need a lawyer. We were In Pro Per (without an attorney)

Seems like Letty knows what shes talkin about. My kids father would never give up his rights even if he sees them like once a year. It's just the principle for him and I do get child support sometimes so he thinks it's his right. I know what you me about getting anxiety when you have to do that stuff I hate it too. Good luck!

LettyVLO wrote:

Well, I totally understand about your husband wanting to adopt Cheo. My husband adopted my two and carry his last name. First thing is FIRST: The biological father of Cheo would need to sign his rights away. I know this may be hard but it might be worth a shot. But the most importand thing is to get the biological father to sign. If he has been an absent father, and does not pay any childsupport then you can file a form of "Abandonment" Check your states laws to see how long a parent has to be absent in order to file abandonment. In California is 2yrs.
And the cost is (California)$600.00. The whole process his about 6 mos. IF the father is willing to give up (his rights) I can not stress that enough , you can lose $600. if this goes to trial.
I hope this has helped.

ok, so if he is willing to sign his rights away, that still gotta be done in court??? and the cost for the abandonment thing, i gotta pay that???? wow that's a lot of money!

ALL your court papers are included in the cost. Yes it is alot of money. But check with your area to see how much they charge. It might be abit more or less. A social worker has to be involved too. She or He is the one that agrees or writes down her approval to the courts whether Marc can take care of your son. Income and they will look in your house too. The judge goes by what the social worker sees and says.
Do you think that Cheo's real father will sign?

1SeXXXyMaMMa wrote:

LettyVLO wrote:

Well, I totally understand about your husband wanting to adopt Cheo. My husband adopted my two and carry his last name. First thing is FIRST: The biological father of Cheo would need to sign his rights away. I know this may be hard but it might be worth a shot. But the most importand thing is to get the biological father to sign. If he has been an absent father, and does not pay any childsupport then you can file a form of "Abandonment" Check your states laws to see how long a parent has to be absent in order to file abandonment. In California is 2yrs.
And the cost is (California)$600.00. The whole process his about 6 mos. IF the father is willing to give up (his rights) I can not stress that enough , you can lose $600. if this goes to trial.
I hope this has helped.

ok, so if he is willing to sign his rights away, that still gotta be done in court??? and the cost for the abandonment thing, i gotta pay that???? wow that's a lot of money!

Debbie, Everything is done through court. Your ex will have to personally tell the judge and say he wishes to terminate his rights and then he signs. The next thing that happens is, the social worker will get involved.

UUGH!!! WELL, THE ONLY THING I KNOW IS THAT THERE ARE NO FILING FEES IN FAMILY COURT HERE IN NY. BUT I DUNNO EXACTLY WHAT THAT MEANS, IS IT THAT I DON'T HAVE 2 PAY TO FILE THE PETITION PERIOD, OR IS THAT TALKIN ABOUT THE WHOLE PROCESS?

LETTY, HE WON'T JUST SIGN THEM, BUT I KNO HE'S TERRIFIED OF CHILD SUPPORT, SO I COULD MAKE UP SOME STORY AND TELL HIM THAT IF HE DOESN'T SIGN HIS RIGHTS OVER THEN HE HAS TO START PAYIN CHILD SUPPORT (HE'S NOT TOO SMART SO THAT'LL PROBLY CONVINCE HIM)

I hate anyhting to do with government and court too. I have no advice cause I'm totally lost on legal stuff but I wish you luck and hope everyhting works out and doesn't cost a ton.

thanx a lot mandy. v marc would definitely have no problem payin for it if wehad the money but ritenow we livin paycheck to paycheck. lifehere in ny is so fukin expensive

Debbie then take his ass to court for child support. Have you FILED for full custody of your son?? And if not then why??
When I was a single paren with my two I filed for full custody. Thier father wanted joint but I was persistant and got to full. I wanted nothing to get in the way of MY kids. THEY were MINE.
He stopped giving childsupport as soon as he found out I was living with my husband. His rights were stripped when I filed a form of abandonment. If he didn't contact or pay any childsupport in over 2 yrs then they found him an unfit father.
Debbie just ask for childsupport from your local child support agency. Why don't you make him pay for his responsibility??
His wages can be garnished. Liscense taken away or put in jail if he doesn't pay.
I had all done before his rights were taken away. He was forced to work under the table. YES his life is FUCKED right now as we speak, because he cannot work a regular job. Any money he makes will be given to me. But the coward won't do it.
Debbie ask for your money.

whoa...sorry you have to go through all of this girl...I have no idea what to tell you b/c i havent been in that situation, and i think Canada would be different from the u.s's laws...so good luck with whatever you decide to do luv

thanx ashley and letty is a longstory but basically he was born here but some shit happened and his documents got lost and he has absolutely no proof of his identity. i was talkin to marc's friend who is practically goin thru the same thingwithis ex wife and he said its really simple just file for full custody and i kno he'll most likely not show up to court cuz hes afraid of the law and has a record and warrants so they'll maybe give him 2 or 3 chances and then grant me custody. i dont want child support cuz he doesnt work so is not gonna get me anywhere i just want full custody to go on wit my life wout worryin bout future legal decsions that have to b made about him.